i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
