I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize