I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
