I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
