She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need to calm my uterus...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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