I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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