Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
