let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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