I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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