I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
