So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
