Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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