So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
