...so i touched it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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