only if we run a train.
done.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
