I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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