the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
