i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
