I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
