Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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