mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
