Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
