If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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