He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
