Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
