I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
