One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
