Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
