Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
