I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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