Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
