So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
