I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
