Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
