Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
