Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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