Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
