i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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