My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
