I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
