i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
