I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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