if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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