I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
