You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
