FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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