guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
