Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
