to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
