What a fucking waste of an outfit
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
