How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
