Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
